I suspect that sometimes we move onward into time with our toes pointing backward, the mind’s eye trying to locate a coordinate that has already been crossed and parenthesed. In academics, there is so often a demand for swift and efficient recall and recollection of material that has already been taught, and so it becomes the job of a contortionist to move ‘forward.’ Herein lies the problem, I suppose: the idea that there is a set destination point, a coordinate in parentheses that can easily be summarized and ordered into a sensible sequence. Geography 495 went away from that; it was intentionally unformatted, and launched without a clear trajectory. For this reason, I think I struggled with an unfamiliar sense of aimlessness in the unbounded microcosm of Geography 495. In fact, it was only during the last final push – the day of our Guelaguetza – that I felt like I was part of “it,” whatever “it” was, exactly.
– Hands –
As I reflected earlier in my Journal, what was so intriguing about my experience on the day of the party was the intimate relationship between my own state of mind and the engagement of my hands in purposeful work. The significance of “hands on” is, I think, at the heart of Dona Vicky’s own campaign. I almost cannot believe how blind I was to something so fundamentally at the heart of Dona Vicky’s work and her aspirations, struggles and triumphs. I am also beginning to suspect that, had I found the opportunity to participate in one of the group cooking events, my whole dispositional framework throughout this course, or this experience, would have been substantially different – more positive, more focused, more understood and internalized. When I re-evaluate the value of my own “escape” through making music or playing sports, I recognize how fundamentally important the hands are in these activities. I wrote in one of my journals that, “in the spontaneity of musical and physical, corporeal improvisation, I can escape this crippling self-consciousness that makes all my analyses and critiques of the ‘world,’ or the ‘system’ seem phony, aloof, contrived, irrelevant.” What I realize now is that the feeling of “escape” or liberation is reliant on engaging my hands in meaningful activity, and connecting through touch with an uncontestable, real, meaningful “out there.”
Where I might do this through playing violin or ultimate frisbee, Dona Vicky does it through cooking. So when I entered Dona Vicky’s kitchen on that hectic Friday morning before our big party, and put my hands to work with these beautiful, fierce peers and mentors, I finally felt IN it. It did not matter anymore what I had not been able to do, because I was engaged in this real, graspable, active moment.
– The Guelaguetza –
The party was a miraculous weaving-together of all the dynamic, coloured strings of the semester. The emotions, the disenchantment with academia, the doubts, the hopes, all of it: like the coloured strings of beads, or the beautifully woven blouses, or the rich mixture of mole ingredients that were on display on the Oaxacan artisan table that night, our Guelaguetza was the summation of so many different colours, textures, and ingredients. I am beginning to think that if your hands are engaged, if you dip them into the batter or braid the coloured threads yourself, you will find that you are inside of what it is you’re trying to understand; so the action is its own meaning. And that kind of meaning not only carries a lot of gravity, but it connects you to a world outside of yourself, which seems to me to be the most difficult and most rewarding challenge of being a human.
Though Dona Vicky will not ever really know it, her presence here this semester has left me with a crucial and too often undervalued appreciation and respect for the work of hands. Here, I mean to appreciate not only the products of the labour of the hands, but also – and more so – the incredibly healing process of using the hands to create, to cook, to play, to write, and to grasp. I suspect that Dona Vicky – beneath her fierce, boisterous antics and expressions – quietly knows that she can cure blindness with the diligent, intentional and intelligent work of her hands.
– A question of Ethics –
Before I sign out, I think it is critical to raise a question that Dr. Juanita posed during our wrap-up/reflection get together: Was inviting Dona Vicky to Vancouver, and more specifically, to our Geography 495 class, ethical? For many of the students in 495, for me, Dona Vicky’s hardships were unimaginable. Let alone the difficulty she and a handful of individuals in Vancouver had in obtaining the legal rights to have her come to Vancouver, she endured months of separation from family and community (the pains of which reached a climax on the day of our Guelaguetza, when she felt that her family in Oaxaca needed her to be there with them). Several of the students of 495, myself included, were plagued with guilt for being an insubstantial community of support for the duration of her stay. Was this an acceptable situation for anyone? No doubt every individual who participated in 495 learned a considerable deal over the course of the semester, but critical questions of ethics in our own environments/situations were shied away from. As conscientious students, peers and friends, we should afford to be more honest and critical of the projects and social dimensions that we ourselves are engaging in.
That being said, thank you to everyone this semester for incredibly sharp insights, witty antics, emotional outpourings and what was indeed a subversive, thought-provoking semester!
Hannah E.